


The Rules of Reciprocity

by SolitaryMess



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Clexa, Drama & Romance, Dreams, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Princess/Commander, What-if Challenge, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-05-18 20:21:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5941837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolitaryMess/pseuds/SolitaryMess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Clarke and Lexa met in dreams, and it took years for them to ever meet in the flesh? What if they were present for every good and bad moment that happened before Lexa became Heda and before Clarke's dad got floated? They were best friends before the 100 touched down on the ground. What will they be when they meet face to face?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Hi, so this story is a new experience for me. I know others have done this sort of story before, but I wanted to try it with these two, because I'm kind of obsessed with the idea of them having a deep connection, and learning to play off each other strengths, and weaknesses. I don't know if this is going to be one shot or end up bigger, but we'll see. If I do write more I will probably end up rewriting how season 1 and 2 played out, and possibly season 3. But this is all I have written so far...and season 3 is slowly destroying me soooo...**

**Anyways, I'm done rambling read and enjoy :3**

* * *

They meet in their dreams, and the first time it feels incidental.

Lexa had just began the first step in becoming a warrior's second, and found her resolve wavering as the day threatened to turn into night. It was her first hunt alone, without anyone's aid, and being on high alert for hours on end was making her irritable and clumsy. Exhaustion is your enemy _goufa_. Anya's voice echoed in her head-reminding her that even warriors had limits. A full day of being pulled taught like a bowstring, ready to be released, only to remain stagnant and bereft of a target to hit, had made her impatient.

The forest was vast, and the prey was plentiful, and yet her stomach was empty.

And her seven year old body ached for a reprieve.

Because she was Trikru when her body demanded sleep she instinctively looked to the trees and found comfort there. It took very little effort scale the trunk of an old pine, and use the branches to haul herself off the ground. She found sanctuary amongst the leaves, and used them to hide from the coming night, and from the chill that accompanied it. She had been instructed to bring furs with her, and a dagger, but she was still scrawny, and the cold seeped into her bones.

Lexa shivered, unable to stave off the hunger gnawing at her belly, and the crisp winter breeze nipping at her skin. She could not ignore both. But she aspired to try, because once she was rested, she could resume her trek through the wilderness. She would have much to answer for when she returned to Polis, because she had wandered well past the normal hunting grounds, and had yet to find anything worth killing. Sleeping in the forest alone was risky, but so was going back to home empty handed.

She refused to return a disgrace.

She would go home with food or not at all.

After curling into a comfortable position, she was asleep within minutes, and while her body remained nestled against the hard trunk of the tree, her mind was no longer on the ground, trapped in its hungry prison. It was in the sky, dreaming of places out of her reach. Since she'd been able to form words, Lexa had always had questions about the unknown-she'd always wondered what it would feel like to wander outside of Trikru territory. In the trees she had a bird's eye view of the land, but she always hungered for more, and when she slept, she dreamed of the sky, and its inconsistent blues, and of the stars that represented the souls of her Kru laid to her rest. Even now in her dream, the sky was the rare kind of blue that only manifested when the sun was bright and the clouds were a distant memory.

The constant state of awareness that domineered Lexa's actions while she was awake, didn't abandon her while she slept, and she noticed when the blue started to shift in her mind's eye. On edge, she stood guarded, and stationary in the clouds while her world tilted and the familiarity of the sky was displaced by an icy blue that was reminiscent of the cold bearing down on her in reality. It was like a different hue of her favorite color had inked over everything she knew, simply to penetrate her skin, and eradicate what little warmth was left in her dreamscape.

"You look scared." The voice was one of many things she didn't recognize, and Lexa turned on her heel to address the speaker, and to dispute the absurdity of their claim. She was Trikru and she feared nothing. The defiant reply burned at the tip of her tongue, but the words never made it to fruition because a girl who she had never met before, held her gaze, and her eyes reflected the same blue that currently invaded her mind, and rendered her limbs useless with cold. Was this a bad dream or a good one? It was hard to tell, because there had never been an uninvited guest present in her dreamscape before, looking at her with accusatory eyes like Lexa was the one intruding. Curious green eyes clashed with icy blue, as the young warrior tilted her head to the side in contemplation. This strange girl wore clothes from a time that predated the Trikru. The grey ensemble of pants and a loose shirt looked as out of place as she did in Lexa's dream. "I am not the one who should be scared." She stated plainly after studying the child across from her.

They looked about the same age, but the one invading her dream was not a warrior.

She wasn't bred for combat, and had probably never picked up a sword.

Lexa could tell that from a glance.

And yet the only reply she received for her observation was an amused snort that disintegrated into a rumble of laughter a second later, "I was scared. But then you showed up, and had this look on your face," She made a nonsensical gesture, and her features suddenly became smooth and inhospitable, and her lips pursed into a thin line, in a perfect imitation of Lexa's face when she was concentrating. She held that expression for a second, long enough for a small smile to tease the edge Lexa's lips before the girl broke down into giggles again. "You looked like the world was about to end."

A couple of seconds ago the dreamscape had caved inwards, presumably to let the girl across from her inside, and Lexa had nearly stumbled into a blue abyss. The world had nearly ended, but her pride would not allow her to admit as much to this unrepentant invader. "I did not look like that." She muttered glumly, sending the blonde haired girl a dark look.

Stifling another chuckle, a small smirk graced the girl's features. "Sure you didn't. And while we're both playing pretend, I'm a queen and you should bow to me."

This time it was Lexa that snorted, and her eyes nearly rolled out of her skull. "There is only one queen I know of, and you are not her." She said quietly, unable to hide her amusement, as she tried to imagine the blonde as the Azgeda's _kwin_. It was laughable, because the leader of the Ice Nation ruled through fear, and intimidation. The rumors about her made grown men quake in fear, and yet Lexa would never bow to her; so the odds of her falling on her knees in deference to this little girl with a button nose and a mischievous smile were non-existent.

Oblivious to her inner monologue, her guest seemed to only focus on a small fragment of Lexa's sentence. "You know a queen?"

"No." The expectant stare she received was a question in itself, and Lexa found herself reluctantly elaborating. "I have never met her, but word of her strength and cruelty has spread; all the clans know of her." That should have been enough information, and if she had been speaking to a child that spawned from any of the 12 clans, it would have sufficed. However, instead of understanding her words only seemed to breed more confusion, and a look of bafflement that could not be manufactured creased the girl's features.

In that moment, Lexa realized that this girl understood nothing.

She didn't know about the Azgeda, or their _kwin,_ and she would bet that she had no idea about the clans either.

This meant in the grand scheme of things, her blonde intruder knew frighteningly little, and it begged the question of why? Where did she hail from, and what sort of place harbored such an oblivious child?

"I don't…Understand." The girl spoke slowly, carefully, like she was working her way through a puzzle Lexa had presented to her. "I don't know of any clans, unless you're talking about the different stations of the Ark that came together years ago?" She asked, and it was Lexa's turn to stare blankly at her and shake her head no. That's not what she meant at all. She had no idea what the Ark was, but she knew instinctively that they were talking about two very distant subjects.

"You do not belong to a _kru_ … a clan?" She asked after watching the girl's troubled expression grow more severe.

"No, I have a family. And I live on the a ship called the Ark with my people…in space." She admitted quietly, all the mischief gone from her expression as she glanced at Lexa, asking without words where she was from, but the brunette couldn't focus, because she was still recovering from this shocking turn of events. She was talking to a girl from space. How was that even possible? What poorly contrived trick was this? And what deity was responsible for it?

It took Lexa a moment to swallow her surprise and even longer to give the girl an answer. When she finally did work out a cohesive response in her mind, it was stilted and formal, as Anya had taught her. "I am a future warrior and _Trikru_ , I live with my people on the ground."

The girl stared at her wide eyed as she absorbed that kernel of information. Their entire situation was surreal. They were not simply strangers, coexisting in the same dream, they were two entirely different entities born in two entirely different worlds, now occupying the same mental space.

"I see." Was the soft response to her introduction, and the girl sat back, leaning on a cloud behind her for support. It was strange to see something that was clearly not solid hold her up, but very little made sense in this dream, least of all their surroundings. Her blonde invader didn't seem bothered by the lack of reason present in every aspect of her environment, and simply continued to lounge against her chosen perch. "The ground is…supposed to be deadly. They said there were no survivors on Earth." She muttered, and Lexa wondered if she was speaking to herself, or to her.

"The strong survived."

The blonde chewed on that, drank in Lexa's appearance, her guarded stance, and how very alive she was "My teachers were wrong." She stated after a moment, and it wasn't a question.

" _Sha_."

"You and your people survived." She reiterated, like it would make what she was saying the only real part of the dream.

"We are strong." Lexa responded simply, a small smirk accompanying her words.

A ghost of a smile on the girl's face before it disappeared, and it reminded Lexa of a star dimming, until its light was finally extinguished. "You might not be real though. I've never dreamt of anything like this before. You could be a figment of my imagination, or I might have eaten something rotten, or maybe this is some sort of trauma induced hallucination." She was rambling, and with each possible theory Lexa found herself growing more and more lost. She didn't know what those terms meant, but she was able to piece together that her guest was no longer amused by their situation. She was confused, and was slowly falling victim to her own fear and meager understanding of what was going on.

Lexa could relate.

Sharing a dream with a foreign girl in space, is not how she planned to spend her night. It was unprecedented, and frankly terrifying, but she would never acknowledge that. She wondered what Anya would say or do in her situation, and found herself unable to imagine her mentor interacting with this girl for any extended length of time. Anya would have dismissed her as an apparition, and went back to the waking world where things made sense. Groping blindly for something to say to assuage them both, the brunette finally settled for "I assure you I am very real."

The look she received was searching. _Are you?_

"What's your name then?" It was a question not a demand. So far this girl had done nothing but question, and it was a refreshing change from what Lexa was used too. Her life had been full of demands. Her parents had demanded her absolute obedience when they forced her to learn a trade. And she had done that without question. Anya had demanded her unwavering commitment to become her second, and Lexa was going to painstaking lengths to appease her. This girl simply asked, and Lexa wanted to answer of her own volition.

"My name's Lexa." The name was a tangible line to the real world.

And it was one that she offered freely.

And for once in her life Lexa received her first taste of reciprocation when the girl nodded and offered a piece of herself as well. "I'm Clarke."

* * *

They talked about everything and nothing to pass the time. They still weren't entirely convinced that this wasn't a cosmic joke, or that they hadn't simply invented a person that didn't exist to curb the frequent bouts of loneliness that crept into their lives without warning. They had no way of knowing, so instead of agonizing over it, they simply decided to indulge each other while they could. Eventually they would have to return to their waking lives, but while they slept they got to know each other. Clarke admitted she wanted to be a doctor, and that she spent most days assisting her mom with patients on the Ark. Lexa admitted to being a half trained blacksmith that was on her way to becoming a warrior.

Both were curious to learn more about the world they were not a part of.

Neither noticed when they gravitated closer to each other, and were sitting on the same cloud, while they took turns asking questions. Lexa had settled down a foot away from Clarke, and was turned towards her, so one leg was stretched out almost brushing against the Skai girl, and the other was propped up, while she leisurely leaned against a cloud cover in a classic "cool" pose. If it had been any place except the safety of her own mind, she wouldn't allow herself to be open and unguarded like this. But there was no one to reprimand her here. And she was thoroughly enjoying her current discussion, with the girl across from her.

"You've been training since the age of two?" Clarke was looking at her in horror, and Lexa was trying very hard not to laugh.

" _Sha."_

Blue eyes narrowed at her. "Does that mean yes?"

A small chuckle escaped before the brunette could stifle it, and Clarke twitched like the sound physically irked her. "Yes. It does. And I have been training since I could walk. Every clan member that can fight, _**must**_ fight. We are at war, and no one can afford to be defenseless."

"You're a kid." Clarke muttered, a frown inching across her face.

"War does not care if I'm young or old." Lexa huffed, and waved off the girl in front of her with a curt gesture. "And I'm not some _goufa_ that's just learning how to crawl. I'm _seven_." She emphasized her age proudly because some became warriors at the age of ten, and Lexa only had a few years before she earned that privilege.

Clarke made an amused noise, that was hardly appropriate after her last statement and Lexa glared at her.

" _What?"_ She all but hissed and that one indignant word made the blonde begin to shake with quiet mirth.

"I'm 8…So to me you're still a baby." She taunted between laughs, like she had won some contest between them, and that only made the brunette bristle more.

" _Shof op_. Clarke." Lexa grumbled, and it sounded more petulant than intimidating. Anya would be disappointed in her. For a proud warrior to be, being reduced to a pouting child was humiliating, and unbecoming. And Clarke's incessant laughter was not helping. Sitting up stiffly, she did her best not to scowl or let her irritation show, but Clarke saw the tense of her jaw, and the stubborn tilt to her chin and her laughter slowly began to die.

"Hey, no I'm sorry." She apologized, unwilling to endure the brunette's silent anger while they were stuck together. When Lexa didn't respond, Clarke lightly nudged her leg in an attempt to garner her attention, and green eyes swiveled over to glare balefully at her. "I shouldn't have laughed." There was no malicious intent in her words, but Lexa still wasn't sure she liked being teased by this strange child that lived in the sky.

"I did not think my age was funny." She agreed solemnly before glancing at the blonde invader across from her. "You are not funny."

The open mouthed look of indignation she received soothed whatever remained of her injured pride. "I am hilarious, thank you very much!" Clarke huffed in a way that was entirely too defensive to be believed.

"Sure you are." The words were condescending, as was her tone, but there was a mischievous light in her eye, that Clarke recognized, and the blonde seemed respond to in kind. Boldly, the Skai girl leaned in, insistent on leaving no space for Lexa to breathe. She was close enough to touch, and to shove back if she chose, but she waited, every muscle and sinew wired with tension, as she kept an eye on Clarke.

"I've made you laugh before." Lexa remembered that moment; an eternity had lapsed in the time they had been talking, and before the teasing started a chuckle had escaped her.

Defiantly she shook her head. "Doesn't count. I was laughing at you. You still are not funny."

Clarke threw her hands up in exasperation, thoroughly fed up with the verbal assault. "Rude! How did I get stuck with a rude dream person?" She mumbled, and her tone was reminiscent of the one Lexa had been using minutes earlier when Clarke had called her a baby. So Petulant. So painfully close to a pout. "I'm ready to wake up now." The blonde glanced up at the boundless blue sky that had transported her here for assistance. It didn't respond to her plea and that only made the Skai girl pout more. "Fudge." And it sounded like a curse.

Blue eyes turned to glare at her. "My friends think I'm funny." She muttered

And Lexa tried so very hard not to say the words hovering on the tip of her tongue, but it was all for naught, because right now she was a child, and when she woke up she would be a warrior again.

"….You have friends?"

The girl across from her made an outraged noise, and it was the only warning she received before a light punch connected with her arm. Lexa's perfect mask cracked then because she hadn't expected her words to evoke violence, and Clarke's punch was clumsy and weak compared to the heavy blows she endured in training. What remained of her mask completely shattered when Clarke got up from their shared cloud and began pacing back and forth in a huff. She only paused once, to grunt at the silent brunette. "Shut up Lexa. I have friends."

Laughter escaped her then.

And it surprised them both, because Clarke stopped pacing completely and look at her. Blue eyes clashed with green.

"Okay, I'm lying." The soft utterance compromised the light hearted air between them. And Lexa wanted to ask what there was to lie about but Clarke shook her head and sat down again. Their proximity, as well as the sudden change in the Skai girl's demeanor was daunting, so Lexa said nothing. She knew when to listen. "I said I have friends, but I don't."

"Why?" It was an earnest question because she seemed like the type of girl to have many friends.

"I haven't really been around kids my own age. My mom taught me at home for a long time, and so when I started my classes, I was already ahead of the other kids…My parents decided to put me into harder classes with older kids, and none of them like me." She rushed through an explanation, seemingly embarrassed by her own social ineptitude. It baffled the young warrior, because even she took breaks from training to play with kids her own age. She swam in the streams, and planned fake wars with them. She ate with them, and all the seconds slept in the same tent in Polis.

Even among older warriors like Anya, and Tristan she didn't feel ostracized. The only time she felt isolated is when she missed her parents.

Solitude like what Clarke was describing was foreign to her.

"Everyone needs friends Clarke." She stated firmly, unable to contend with the sad look on the Skai girl's face.

The blonde shrugged as if it was no big deal, but Lexa wasn't convinced of her apathy. Especially since her hands were tightly clenched in the cloud cover like it was the only thing steadying her, and eyes were glossed over like she wanted to distance herself from the truth. Being alone and friendless was not an easy existence. "I don't."

"You do." Lexa disagreed with her.

Clarke bit her lip, unsure of what to say. Her brow scrunched in frustration, like she couldn't wrap her head around the concept of needing anyone. It seems propinquity wasn't taught on the Ark, like it was on the ground. "It doesn't change the fact that I'm by myself." She said, and the quiet revelation made Lexa's heart ache, because she was sitting right in front of her. By some twist of fate, this strange little blonde had invaded her dream, and teased her, and made her laugh, but when she woke up, Lexa wouldn't be there to keep her company.

And Clarke wouldn't be there to change her perception of the sky.

But right now, despite their contrary beliefs, logic, and all the rules of space and time they were together, and Lexa didn't want the Skai girl to go back home, where nothing but loneliness and poorly taught lessons awaited her. "You have me." She offered another part of herself without any thought to the consequences. She couldn't explain why she needed to assuage the girl next to her, or what prompted her to offer her time and energy so freely. She felt like something had inexplicably drawn them together.

They were sharing the same dream.

They had been learning about each other in the same mental space.

And she knew Clarke felt the pull of their connection as well, because when the blonde returned her gaze, there was burgeoning understanding present, where only conflict had lived before. "I have you." She agreed softly, uncertain of how real that statement was.

It was the beginning of a tentative friendship.

And when Lexa awoke seconds later, her lips were blue, and her teeth were chattering, because it was the beginning of hypothermia. She didn't know if she had just been driven mad by the cold, and experienced the most vivid dream of her life, or if Clarke was a real girl in space, that found a way to communicate with her. But she knew that she didn't want that first meeting with the Skai girl to be her last. Even if it wasn't real, Lexa wanted more than just a few fleeting hours with her, and next time she was determined to get them.

Of course there might not be a next time because Anya was going to take great pleasure in brutally eviscerating her when she got home.

 _My fight is over._ She groaned internally, and considered letting the cold take her, because then at least it would be a painless death.

* * *

**So that's the end of that.**

**A couple notes,**

**Just in case they seemed off for a seven and eight year old, I took note of that, and tried to tone down the complexity of their thoughts, and how they spoke, but in my head I can see them both being geniuses as children, because let's be honest-they are both scary intelligent. I'm also 100% positive they were both much more laidback, as children and I was trying to show that in this chapter. Also for the classes Clarke is taking, I imagine on the ark they work a bit like high school and college classes, where you have general studies and then after a bit you can choose what classes you want. And their different tiers of classes, depending on how far in the course you are. So right now, Clarke is 8, and shes further ahead in general studies than most kids her age. So she's hanging out in a class with ten and eleven year olds.**

**And she's kinda loopy and lacking basic social skills, from only hanging out with her family, and helping her mom cut people open all the time.**

**Meanwhile Lexa is training with Anya, and going on her first hunt. And she wants to bring back something spectacular. Instead she might end up getting sick, and bringing back hypothermia, and blue limbs.**

**But um...Yeah. Cheers to this oneshot, or multi-chapter. Whatever this story is XD**


	2. Chapter 2: Okay

**Alrighty, well here's the second chapter. I did not feel comfortable leaving this as a oneshot, so it's gonna be a multichapter.**

**Can we talk about how I haven't been able to calm down since Thursday? I have been freaking out the last couple episodes, cuz it was just, endless gay clexa everywhere. And my muse won't leave me alone especially since since the sky people seemed to have lost their goddamn minds. Have ya'll seen Bellamy lately? He needs a nap. And these gay kids need a break.**

**Also I kept spelling Trikru as Triku last chapter and I'm glad ya'll didn't drag me for it cuz I saw that and sighed so hard. Anyways. Here's the new chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 2: Okay**

The second time they meet it feels like it was orchestrated. Both girls had spent innumerable hours sleeping at odd intervals so they could catch a glimpse of each other again. Lexa had been back in Polis for days now, with a fresh tattoo for completing her first hunt alone. A blue half circlet wrapped around her shoulder, and it was the start of something intricate that would be graphed out when the next step of her training was completed. Anya suspected that she would be ready for another trial soon, and Lexa was biding her time until she was summoned with the other seconds. The next trial was to test their ability to work together, but it did not start until the sun was peeking above the horizon. This gave her a rare opportunity to be alone.

While the other seconds basked in the warmth of the fire, and indulged each other in games and laughter, Lexa retreated to her room and sought out the warmth of her furs. She had been sleeping more and more lately despite valiant attempts to stay awake and vigilant. Anya was a merciless taskmaster. Since her return to Polis, days and nights had no meaning because her every waking hour was spent immersed in back breaking labor. On top of her regular training with a sword and a dagger, she was expected to donate her time to the blacksmith to help mold new blades out of steel. She was also expected to accompany the foragers out to collect berries and herbs, and to cut down trees for fire wood.

Her life was an endless parade of menial tasks for the people of Polis.

Anya was trying to impress on her the value of obedience. She had made two fatal mistakes while she hunted. She should not have wandered past Trikru territory, and she should not have prolonged her hunt on a whim. Bringing back the best kill meant nothing, because ignoring her mentor's instructions had nearly cost her the test. Lexa had barely passed. Despite being better then nearly every other child her age, Lexa still managed to be a disappointment. That bitter truth rattled around in her chest, making it difficult to breathe while she listened to the cheers and raucous yells of her fellow seconds outside. She was not even allowed to celebrate her success with them because she was being punished.

_Her failure burned._

Lexa curled up in her furs, trying hard to block out how inept and utterly alone she felt in the second's quarters. She should be outside, celebrating her achievements with her friends. She had killed a bear and earned the mark of a hunter. However, her victory meant precious little to Anya. _**My orders are absolute, and you disobeyed me.**_ The quiet words condemned and vilified her. They knifed into the space where Lexa kept her emotions hidden and twisted until it physically hurt.

Her suffering was lesson in itself. Every errand, every task, every little imposition, she'd painstakingly endured since the hunt, was Anya's way of saying, _don't do it again._ Lexa's promise, the unsaid _"I won't_ ," came in the way she stubbornly attacked every assignment given to her. She crafted the best swords and shoes for the horses under the blacksmith's wary eye. She cut the most trees and bundled the most firewood for the oncoming winter. She collected the most herbs, and seaweed to put in storage for the healer. Every day she pushed herself a little more as penance until her resolve to not disappoint her mentor again was only thing keeping her going.

Tonight, Lexa could barely lift her head without being pulled back into the dregs of sleep.

She was well and truly drained.

Drained from having to swallow her pride.

Drained from the days toils.

Anya had ordered her to return to her quarters and meditate, which usually translated to get some rest.

And so while the other seconds enjoyed their first taste of triumph, for bringing home food to Polis, Lexa slept, and her last thought before the darkness finally claimed her was of a girl with striking blue eyes.

* * *

Lexa didn't arrive in her own dreamscape.

She was sitting cross legged in an unfamiliar setting, not the clouds she was accustomed to reclining in, but an actual room. The young warrior could gather very little about whose room it was from the interior since almost nothing of sentiment adorned the walls or the doors. Everything she could visually distinguish was metallic, except for a bed and a desk that were almost as bare as the walls. The only certain difference between them being that three items of interest rested on the desk's surface; a small light, a piece of paper, and a handful of pencils. Lexa rose fluidly from where she was sitting on the floor, to go examine the things that had pilfered her attention from the empty space around her. She could find out where she was later when her curiosity was sated. She had never encountered pencils before, but after rolling one between her fingers and testing the sharp edge against both the desk, and the edge of the paper she could speculate what it was for.

Carefully she put it back in the tray that held others of its kind, and turned her attention to the drawing. She had a few solid seconds to drink it in before it was snatched out of her reach. On instinct she reacted, hand flashing out to deter the perpetrator from leaving, and the drawing from escaping.

A throat cleared, and Lexa slowly tracked the arm she held captive up to its owner. "Didn't anyone tell you not to touch things that aren't yours?" An all too familiar face that she hadn't expected to see again was twisted in a grimace of embarrassment.

One perfunctory eyebrow went up in question, and she carefully retracted her hand so her friend could move freely. "It's a drawing of me Clarke."

"You weren't supposed to _see_ it though." Red smeared the Skai girl's features, and Lexa had to stifle her amusement when she realized Clarke was the one that had taken the liberation of drawing her. Cradling the sketch to her chest, the girl across from her muttered incoherently about nosey dream people before trudging over to her bed, and tucking the sketch under the sheet so it was hidden from view. "It's not even done yet." The blonde muttered grumpily, while sending an irritated glare at Lexa.

The young warrior was quiet, contemplative as she remembered her own likeness staring back at her from the paper. She looked small and unassuming in her training attire. Clarke remembered their initial meeting in frightening detail; because not only did the blonde recollect what she'd been wearing, she included how Lexa felt in that one singular moment in the clouds. Garbed in a leather vest and breeches that were similar to what she was wearing now, Lexa, should have felt in her element, but her expression betrayed her. Stripped bare of the pride and confidence that normally distinguished her as a warrior; she looked impossibly young and scared, as the dreamscape shuddered and distorted around her.

Clarke captured that moment vividly, and although she was vehemently opposed to being illustrated as weak, she couldn't help but grudgingly admire the girl's skill. "May I see it when you're finished?" She asked after a letting the silence marinate between them for several minutes too long. The Skai girl, who had been anxiously fiddling with the lapels of her shirt, while looking at anything but Lexa, glanced up at the soft request.

She seemed to consider it a moment, weighing her answer in her mind before actually speaking. "Once I'm done." Then her eyes narrowed as she actually studied Lexa. Being the subject of intense scrutiny wasn't new, but something about the dissecting quality of Clarke's gaze made her shift in place. She had to stomp down the urge to step back, because putting physical distance between them would be an admission of fear. There was a tense pause as the blonde opened her mouth, then closed it abruptly. Was the Skai girl as nervous as she was? Or simply unable to organize her thoughts?

Patiently, Anya's second waited, until Clarke finally grew flustered and blurted out the question running rampant in her mind. "Why do you think this keeps happening? Once is a fluke, but this is the second time we've met in dreams."

"I don't know." She replied earnestly.

It was a question that had been plaguing them both since the last time they saw each other.

Lexa had spent hours pondering her meeting with the Skai girl, and what her existence implied while she slaved away in the woods or at the blacksmith's behest. She still had no earthly clue why she was drawn to her, or why their dreams seemed to intersect. The last time they had crossed paths, they were in the sky. Now they were in a metal room that was too loud, and impersonal for her liking. She'd never stepped foot in a place that was so empty and bereft of life. This dream made her feel deprived of air because everything was foreign and sterile; and the constant hum of machinery made the young warrior want to crawl out of her skin.

"We must be in my dream this time. I drew that picture when I was awake, and left it next to my bed, and I mean, this is my room." Clarke gestured to the space Lexa was learning to loathe, and her face twisted into a disgusted sneer.

"This place is suffocating."

Clarke shrugged, and it had to be because she was dead inside. "You get used to it."

"I wouldn't." She replied without a hint of shame. She couldn't live in a metal box. She lived on the ground, and everything in Trikru territory was alive and green. This place was cramped, and unfit for humans to reside in. Nothing could thrive or grow here. Lexa had always thought about the sky as being boundless, and the epitome of life without constraints. Looking at Clarke now, in what barely constituted as a real home, she realized she was wrong. Life in the sky wasn't free from burdens; it was a metal prison free from gravity.

"You'll never have to." Clarke reminded her, and something akin to shame fluttered across her expression, because they shared the same dream but different fates. It was not her place to judge her friend's home, even if the enclosed space made her physically ill.

Silence ebbed between them, because Clarke seemed to have retreated into a place Lexa couldn't follow. The young warrior wanted to bring her back to the present, but she knew it was her own thoughtless comments that had driven the blonde away. The Skai girl didn't need a reminder that her home was suffocating, she knew. "Clarke." Her name was a petition, a gentle request that did not go unheeded. Blue eyes slated to the side to pin her down with a cold stare. "I did not mean to insult your home, but this is not what I imagined when I dreamt of the sky."

The injured air surrounding the blonde seemed to lessen and her gaze softened at her admission. They both remembered the warm vibrant blues that seemed to settle like a haze over Lexa's dreamscape. In the young warrior's eyes the sky was surreal, and it had that once in a lifetime allure that could only occur when one was familiar with nature and all its reverence. It was a jarring contrast to the cold, dread inducing room they were standing in now. "The reality of it isn't as pretty huh?" The blonde asked, and a wry humorless smile tugged at her lips.

Lexa shook her head lightly. "It's not. But the company makes it better."

They shared a secret grin, the first of many between them, and a throaty chuckle escaped Clarke's throat before she did a double take of the girl across from her.

"Is that a tattoo?"

Of course she would notice.

Self-consciously her thumb brushed over the blue lines that wove ornately around her arm in a half circle. "Yes." The mark of a hunter had come to represent a serious blunder, and a rite of passage in her eyes. She'd nearly forgotten the mind numbing exhaustion that had led her to the dreamscape, but Clarke's words reminded her how long and strenuous the past week had been. And suddenly she was dead tired again.

"It's only been two weeks since I last saw you."

There was a question in there somewhere. Clarke's questions were always in the things she left unsaid. Lexa was getting better at reading between the lines. _What happened? What prompted you to brand yourself?_ Clarke's eyes spoke for her, asking what she refused to verbalize _._ Sighing dismally, the young Trikru warrior tried to think of a way to explain her people's customs. She wanted the Skai girl to understand. "Much has happened in that time." She began formally, "When we first met, I was in the middle of a hunt, which is the first of many tests I must pass if I want to become a warrior."

Clarke sat down, bouncing a little on the bed, as she digested her friend's words, but she didn't interrupt her, so Lexa took that as a prompt to continue. "My mentor, Anya, gave me 4 days in the wild to bring back an acceptable kill. I spent half that time wandering around, because nothing I encountered seemed good enough to bring home. I was alone, armed with nothing but a knife, and my wits." She paused for dramatic effect, because she noticed how intently the Skai girl was listening. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, enraptured in what Lexa was saying. And it was endearing, because Clarke was the first person to let her feel something other than shame for her actions. Clearing her throat, the young Trikru warrior continued to recount her hunt, but she made sure to make everything seem bigger, grander, and more ominous than it actually was.

The trees were hulking guardians in Trikru territory that seemed to grow in stature at night, and denied trespassers entry into the wild.

Lexa had overcome that obstacle by leaving the dense forest, and searching for prey outside the normal hunting grounds. "I nearly froze to death out there after I talked to you. I woke covered in frost, and unable to get warm."

Clarke inhaled sharply, and real concern tore her away from Lexa's hunting tale. She had been hanging off every word until now. "Hypothermia. You were in the early stages of hypothermia." At the questioning look she received, the blonde tried to thread together a short succinct explanation, because at this point they both could tell how invested in the story she was. She wanted to know what happened next. "Your body is normally warm. You need to be warm in order for your body to function. Hypothermia is when your body is so cold, it stops blood from flowing, and parts of your body shut down. People lose limbs because of it."

But Lexa hadn't. All of her limbs were intact, and that made Clarke relax if only for a second.

"Our _fisa_ mentioned something like that, I'm fine though Clarke." She reassured the girl across from her, and wisely decided to leave out the condition she had been in when she returned home.

It was not her best moment.

-xxx-

" **Your second is recovering nicely Anya." Shala, the resident healer in Polis, regarded Lexa's bedridden form with something akin to pride. It wasn't often that a child eluded death's grasp, and the brunette had done so with nothing but stubborn tenacity. According to the scouts that found her outside the gates, if she had been gone for an hour longer the cold would have taken her. As it stood, this was the first time since her return that Lexa was fully cognizant of her surroundings, and she found herself foolishly wishing to sink back into a blissful sleep, if only to escape her mentor's glare. The room they were in felt crowded because it was never meant to house more than a couple people at a time, and yet Anya stood by the door, barring anyone from entering, while the healer and her second stood near the fire, putting away the herbs in clay jars for future patients.**

**Sharp features that Lexa had grown to adore, became impassive and hard to read. "My second is a branwada, and she wouldn't need a recovery period if she had listened to me, instead doing whatever she pleased, and acting on her own stupidity."**

**Shala blinked, steely grey eyes never leaving Lexa's mentor who seemed impossibly tired at that moment. This was about more than Lexa nearly succumbing to the first frost of the winter. That wouldn't evoke such concern from a battle hardened warrior. This was deeper and it was a burden that Anya held close to her chest, because it was manifesting as anger and fierce desire to protect her second.**

**Lexa picked up on this too and somehow she forced herself into a stiff sitting position. "Shala says I'm fine."**

**A long suffering sigh escaped the healer. Warriors would forever abuse their bodies, and treat the subsequent pain as a frivolity. Lexa had learned that annoying trait early. "No. I said you're recovering** _**goufa** _ **."**

**Anya glared at her, seemingly unmoved by her stubborn show of defiance. "Lay down, before you hurt yourself."**

" **I'm fine." Lexa insisted.**

**They glared at each other.**

**She knew Anya's patience with her was wearing thin, but she hated feeling useless. She hated being trapped in the same four walls for days on end. "Please Anya." Desperation clawed at her chest, and the strain made her voice crack unexpectedly. "I'm fine." She repeated again, but the words rang hollow in the space between them because they both knew better. This was the first time she'd been truly awake in days, and according to Shala she had almost lost a hand. Some of her limbs still felt heavy, and unused to real movement. Stepping out of the entry way, Anya crossed the distance between them, and kneeled down next to her furs. Without exerting much effort she pushed Lexa back till she was laying horizontally.**

" **I'll be back to check on you in a day. Your training will resume when Shala releases you." Her tone dissuaded any real argument her second might conjure up, and Lexa deflated into her furs.**

**A rare smile graced her mentor's lips, "Be prepared because I will not be as merciful as the bear you killed."**

" **I expect not." Lexa retorted, and her sullen tone made Shala's second break down into giggles.**

-xxxx-

"So then what happened?"

Dragging herself from the memory, Lexa tried to regain the rhythm of the story. "I was freezing but far from dead. I still had to complete the trial. Luckily, not too long after I woke up, I was able to find some tracks in the darkness. I followed them till their conclusion, and they ended at a hill. Sitting at the bottom was bear. We saw each other at the same time." Lexa mimed making eye contact by pointing from her eyes to Clarkes, and her voice dropped to a dramatic whisper. "He stood up on his hind legs, smelling the air, and then he came towards me. I drew my blade. It was my dagger against his claws and teeth."

Clarke gasped, and tried to smother the anxiety creeping into her expression. She failed miserably, and ended up hugging one leg to her chest for comfort. She rested her chin on top of her knee, and let her gaze fixate on Lexa again. The young warrior took note of Clarke's obvious distress, and toned down her colorful storytelling. She was immensely entertained by the Skai girl's propensity to feel; and to transition from one emotion to another without pause, but she didn't want to scare her too much. "We fought, and the bear met his end on my blade. The hunt was over when I dragged his body back to Polis, and earned the mark you see." She gestured to her shoulder, where the fresh tattoo was.

Clarke released a breath, distilling her shock into the air as she examined the tattoo with new wonder. "I can't believe you killed a bear. How is that even possible with one tiny dagger?"

"It was a small bear?

"You killed a baby?" The Skai girl didn't even bother to mask her horror at the idea. Clarke had never even seen a baby bear. How could she be defensive of a creature she had never laid eyes on?

"It was not a cub, and not fully grown." She grunted and sat down on the bed next to her friend.

"Like us."

"What?" Her brow furrowed, and confused green eyes slid over to the Skai girl.

"We're not adults, and we're not children. We're just like the bear….Lexa you killed one of our own." She grabbed her shoulder, and shook her for emphasis. And Lexa could do nothing but allow the contact, because the Skai girl had manage to completely bewilder her. How were they like a dead bear?

Perplexed, she opened her mouth to contest her mystifying words, because they were nothing like the bear that was currently serving as a decorative rug in Polis. "Clarke-"

"He was going to have a long and fulfilling life." Mock desperation made her grip harden around Lexa's shoulder till her fingers were digging into the exposed skin.

"You can't be serious."

"He had plans for the future."

"Please stop." Lexa deadpanned, after noticing the laughter dancing in sky blue eyes.

"He left his family behind!"

"He didn't have a family." The young warrior protested and her words furled out in a sigh because Clarke was utterly exasperating. Completely done with being teased, Lexa grabbed the hand that had her shoulder in a vice like grip. She then promptly shoved Clarke off the bed, and the blonde hardly noticed because she was too busy laughing. It wasn't the quiet chuckles that Lexa remembered either, this was a loud gratified bark that had the Skai girl holding her sides to contain. In the end Lexa couldn't keep her composure either, and ended up succumbing to a fit of giggles. It took a while before they were no longer amused with themselves, and even longer before Lexa could look her new friend in the eye without starting another round of snickering.

"You're ridiculous." She groused at Clarke.

"Only with you." The inherent truth of that statement made her next words catch in her throat. Lexa hadn't forgotten the last dream they shared, that had been full of tiny revelations about each other.

' _I said I have friends, but I don't.'_

' _You have me.'_

Clarke clearly hadn't forgotten either, because there was something heartbreakingly tender in her expression as she glanced up at her from where she had landed on the floor. Lexa was her first friend. It wasn't written in stone because for all they knew, they were both suffering from an overactive imagination and a disappointing number of days without a decent meal. However, it felt real. Every interaction they had seemed to solidify each other. It was becoming easier to believe that a girl that lived a lonely existence in the sky was somehow communicating with her.

"Clarke, I don't know why this is happening, but I'm glad you're here, and that I met you."

The blonde offered her a watery smile. "Me too."

They didn't say anything else, although Lexa did slide down to the floor to sit next to Clarke. The blonde shifted closer to her, because in a short span of a time she'd become acclimated to Lexa being in her space. The young warrior didn't comment on how Clarke always seemed to gravitate to her side. After all she was usually the first to breach the distance between them. Their planned proximity, evolved into saccharine moment where they existed together in the quiet of Clarke's room. They were both living in the idea that they were normal friends who weren't separated by a legion of stars, and the laws of their people.

Clarke finally broke the silence to say. "I haven't told anyone about you."

"I haven't either. No one would believe me."

Clarke cleared her throat in an overly exaggerated fashion, and glanced to the left where only empty space greeted her. "Hey mom, I made an awesome friend today, and she lives on the ground where everything's toxic. But don't worry you would like her. She killed a bear."

Lexa snorted at how ludicrous that introduction sounded.

And Clarke seemed to mirror her incredulity, because it ruled her body language and expression, before dissipating. "I just wish…There was a way to make this something real, that we didn't make up." There was a desperate wanting in her voice, that Lexa could understand because that's what she wanted too. Clarke wasn't like her other friends, she wasn't like Talia who made it hard focus on the war they were being primed for. She wasn't like Joren, who was silent, but mischievous, on and off the battlefield. Clarke was more, and she didn't have words for how badly she wanted the Skai girl to be real.

"Let's prove it then. Next time we meet, we'll prove that this is more than a dream."

They didn't know how yet.

But they would.

Clarke looked unsure, but Lexa's resolve was contagious. It was enough for two, because a second later, she nodded confidently.

"Okay."

"Okay."

They flashed identical smiles at each other, and a second later Lexa woke up because the horns were blaring that signaled her next trial was going to start. The rest of the seconds were filing back into their quarters to arm themselves, and Lexa found herself absentmindedly reaching for the knife and sword that rested next to her furs.

Today felt like the beginning of something she couldn't put a name to, whether it was redeeming herself to Anya, or proving herself to Clarke, she had no idea.

She was going to find out though.

* * *

**And that's done.**

**Next chapter ya'll get to meet Lexa's friends, and see a glimpse of her slaying the next trial, and looking for a way to make Clarke see she's real.**

**And it will be a short dream sequence..Probably.**

**Idk. Talk to me after it's posted. Also I just figured out how they're meeting in dreams, and I want to wreck ya'll with the logic behind it later. xD So I'm excited for that.**


	3. Ch 3: Not here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so late. And it honestly took so much effort because 3x07 fucked me up a little.
> 
> But I'm still trying to finish this, and will start Ch 4 soon.
> 
> Anyways, here's ch. 3

**Chapter 3: Not here**

"Look who finally graced us with her presence guys." Several eyes turned to look at her as Talia announced her arrival. The other seconds had assembled at the edge of Polis to await instructions from their mentors. Their next trial was supposed to test their ability to work as one cohesive unit, and weed out the leaders from the followers. Naturally, she was worried, because the hunt had been their first step to becoming warriors, and she had spectacularly failed at that. The shame would be tenfold if she did not succeed at this trial. She would not be able to look Anya in the eye again any time soon.

"It almost sounds like you missed me." She swallowed her unease long enough to address Talia who was trying hard not to scowl. Her recently made friend was stubborn, and seemed to run on rage most of the time. Even now when they were joking, her scrawny frame was stiffly turning away from her, as if repelled by her words. She would never admit to missing Lexa since the hunt.

Anything in the realm of sentiment scared Talia.

"Yes. You've been gone for almost two weeks, my life has been a dark hole without you." Her friend deadpanned, and laughter erupted from some of the other seconds. She didn't mask her own amusement at the situation, because it felt good to smile outside of her dreams. She had been so preoccupied with compensating for her failure in the last trial, she hadn't let herself relax with anyone but Clarke recently. But her banter with Talia was familiar.

"She's not wrong. She's been a mess without you here." Strong arms enveloped her from behind, and Lexa struggled for a minute, as she was bodily lifted off the ground in a hug. The musky smell of smoke and steel furled into her nostrils, giving away her captor's identity.

"Put me down Joren." She grumbled, and he complied instantly, because he knew how much she hated hanging limply like a doll in the air. It wasn't fair that he was the biggest and brawniest of the seconds, and yet he had quietest footsteps. It made his bear hugs unavoidable. Glancing between her friends, Talia and Joren, she noticed not for the first time how different they were. Talia was the more menacing of the two despite being small. She had a quick temper, and a cold flint like gaze. She could only tolerate a select number of people and Joren was everything she wasn't. He was big, and soft spoken, and his skin was a dark earthen color.

He always seemed to be in a state of careful consideration. Although his eyes were an open window to his thoughts, and they brightened considerably when Talia actually left her swarm of acquaintances behind to trudge over to where Lexa and Joren were standing. Their trio was complete for the first time in many days; and for Lexa it was surreal to be back in the fold with her friends, instead of immersed in her punishment.

"I thought Anya was going to have you doing chores for the next decade." Talia snickered, after ensuring that the woman in question wasn't in their vicinity. Anya scared her a little.

Lexa bit back a weary sigh. "Her grudges tend to last that long."

"I don't even know why she's mad. You killed a bear. That's way better than Joren's kill."

Curious green eyes shifted to her bulky friend, and he shrugged amiably. "I killed a pig."

"…Like the ones our farmers raise in pens?" Lexa asked after a deliberate pause.

"It was a big pig" He huffed, and held his hands out in a brief estimation of how big his prey was. "And it had tusks." He added as an afterthought.

"He's lying." Talia crowed, and the sulky glare Joren sent to her was enough to induce loud laughter from those listening. Even Lexa cracked a smile because Joren always exaggerated about his battle prowess, and his many acts of valor. His pig with tusks was most likely another fairy tale he invented to bolster his already inflated ego. Unfortunately for him, Talia would never let that stand. She relished every opportunity to knock him down a few pegs. "Every time he lies, he shifts in place." She pointed out her observation smugly, and it wasn't a coincidence how he suddenly went still-weight deposited unevenly to one side.

"You never let me have anything." He made a face at Talia, who looked utterly unrepentant for taking the wind from his sails. This was their dynamic. Talia was the stoic one that always had something witty to offer. Joren was the quiet one that ensured his friends always had a reason to smile. Lexa was the mediator that made sure neither of their antics got out of hand.

"At least you're still pretty. I could ruin your looks too." Talia shrugged, and the smirk on her face grew more amused when his striking hazel eyes nearly rolled out of his skull.

"You could try." He snarked, daring her with a smile that was all teeth.

"Enough." Lexa wrapped one arm around Talia, and the other around Joren, dragging them together in one swift motion so their heads knocked together. The resounding thud, and twin cries of pain had her grappling between fond exasperation, and unadulterated mirth. "You guys can't afford to fight before this trial."

"Odd…how you say that….while injuring us." Joren groused, while looking at Talia for some much needed support. He found none, because Talia was contending with her throbbing head. Her brow was furrowed, and the scar lining her nose had grown more pronounced as her features contorted in pain. Lexa imagined she needed longer than a second to recover because she hadn't been gentle in getting their attention.

"I liked you better when you were bedridden." Talia stated after a long delay.

"Quit whining. You're fine." Lexa waved her off dismissively. After all, she had been holding back, and true warriors didn't simper about a headache.

"For how long though?" Talia gestured wide eyed to something behind her. Something akin to fear lived in her gaze, and that gave the young warrior pause. Her friend's rapid change in demeanor put Lexa and Joren on edge, and with all the reluctance in the world they turned to see what was making Talia so anxious. The other seconds grew quiet as well, and a hush fell over them as a steady troop of warriors filed in to the clearing. Donned in armor, and the skins of beasts they killed-every single one of them held their heads high as they began to seek out their seconds. It was normal for them to commune before the trial. Talia's mentor, a tall hulking woman known as Xarin, was able to discern her second's location because she towered a full head above her peers. She weaved her way agilely through the crowd, with Joren's warrior, Genos in tow with her. Instinctively, Lexa and her friends stood taller as they approached, because their predecessors walked like gods among them, in armor that had weathered many wars, and paint that said they were going to war again.

There was a certain level of reverence in the air because every second knew that this was going to be them one day.

Anya found her amongst the sea of painted faces, and navigated her way through the throng of people till she was standing in front of her. Lexa inclined her head stiffly in greeting, noting that her mentor still looked tired even after all this time.

She was aware of Talia and Joren talking in quiet murmurs behind her, and she wondered if they were discussing the details of the trial with their mentors; or perhaps they were saying goodbye because they were on the eve of another war. She wondered what Anya would say to her after two weeks of enforcing her punishment, and making her suffer in solitude. To her surprise, her mentor dropped to a crouch, so they were the same level, and Lexa could see the deep brown of her eyes. Normally Lexa had to look up to catch the fleeting emotions on Anya's face. Now she could discern the weary set of her jaw, and the way she seemed to subconsciously loosen when confronted with Lexa's guarded expression.

"You're leaving?" She asked, and it wasn't a question but Anya answered anyways.

" _Sha."_

"Can I ask why?"

Anya considered her, and Lexa could see her mulling over the request in her mind before giving in. "The People of the Blue Cliffs have asked Heda for aid. Their villages are being raided by the Plains Riders. They have been boxed in for days, and cannot deal with the threat alone."

Lexa's brow furrowed with childish certainty, because the solution was simple to her. "Just push the Riders off the cliffs."

Her words elicited a chuckle from the woman in front of her. "Lexa…no."

"It's what I would do if I was Heda."

"It's a good thing you don't hold that title then." The words had a teasing lilt to them, because Lexa still had to prove herself as a warrior. Reaching for a station as grand as Hedas was out of her grasp for now. Sighing dismally, Lexa scuffed the edge of her boot against the ground, and tried to focus on the fact that this was the first time they had spoken civilly in days-without Anya barking at her, or her disintegrating into sullen silence. It was nice to be back in her mentor's good graces, if only for a moment. "Lexa." She looked up, curious green eyes clashing with gentle brown. "While I'm gone you must be careful. This next trial is more than just a test."

She tilted her head to the side, asking without words what Anya meant.

Her mentor placed both hands on her shoulders, corralling her attention, and steadying her for what was about to come. "If Polis's army wasn't being sent to deal with the Plains Riders, we wouldn't be forcing this task on you, but as it stands, we're entrusting you with this. There's twenty of you that we're sending on a scouting mission. We're dividing the seconds into groups of four to spread out past Trikru territory. Heda has received reports of people disappearing from several villages in the area. Men, women, and children. Someone is taking them. She wants you to find out who, and where they are being taken. But do not engage the enemy. We have no idea what they're capable of."

It took a moment for her to comprehend what she was hearing. Twenty people was a lot for a scouting mission, but not if they were supposed to split up into groups to cover more space. The land past Trikru territory was vast, and would take many days to explore even with large numbers. A thought struck her as she turned over this strange new mission in her head. "Wait. That's why you were so angry I didn't listen to you." She had been close to that area during her last trial. Understanding made her blood turn to ice in her veins.

" _Sha_. You would have been one more person we had to recover." Anya stated bluntly, and her expression twisted into a dark grimace. Suddenly her mentor's behavior over the last couple of weeks made sense. Anya wasn't upset that she had been disobedient, she was upset because she had almost lost her. Lexa had nearly been another person to disappear with no explanation _ **.**_

_**She was worried about me.** _

"I should have listened to you." Lexa bowed her head humbly, as a fresh wave of guilt flooded her system. She had nearly lost a few limbs to frostbite because of a childish whim. Now she knew she had gotten lucky. And Anya knew it too, which is why she'd been pushing her so much lately. She wanted Lexa to be strong. Strong enough to survive the winter, and an enemy they didn't have a name for yet.

"Yes you should have." Anya flicked her forehead in rebuttal, and smirked when a small yelp escaped her second.

"Anya we must go." Genos had returned with a solemn looking Joren behind him. Their talk clearly hadn't ended on a happy note if her friend's expression was anything to by. Anya nodded crisply, her eyes falling to Lexa as she stood up to her full height. All traces of humor were gone, as she addressed her second with an intensity Lexa had come to admire.

"Pick a unit you trust for this mission. You will only pass this test if the enemy remains unaware of your presence, and you return with information we can use." Lexa nodded at the reminder that more was at stake than just the trial. People's lives hung in the balance. Some could already be dead, so she had no choice but to take this seriously. She already knew Talia and Joren would be her best resources. They just needed to a fourth member to tag along, that wouldn't compromise the mission.

"I know what's at stake. I won't fail you again." Lexa murmured, and it didn't feel like an empty promise.

Lexa always kept her word.

"Foolish goufa, you haven't failed me yet." Anya smiled, and the little reassurance made pride bubble up in Lexa's chest.

"There's a first time for everything though. Just try not to die." Genos patted her on the head affectionately, and then did the same to Joren who was wearing a tired scowl. "Be good kids." He said gruffly, before leaving them alone to join the other warriors who were beginning the long dreary march to the cliffs. Anya shook her head at his antics, before her gaze came to rest on her second again. "We'll talk again at your victory celebration then." Her mentor drawled, assured that Lexa would pass this trial because her second was too stubborn to be deterred by impossible odds. Unlike Genos, she wasn't one for superfluous goodbyes, so instead of leaving on the tail end of a joke, she dragged Lexa into a painful half hug that made the metal links of her shirt bite into her cheek. Lexa didn't struggle, because the embrace was a surprise. Affection from Anya was always a surprise. And it helped soothe the ache that always sprouted in her mentor's absence.

"Be strong." The words hovered in the quiet space between them, and then Anya was gone.

Her footsteps joined hundreds of others that were leaving Polis behind to fight another war, with Heda at the forefront.

And their seconds had to contend with their own mission

And they were going to be fine because they were strong.

* * *

 

"I'm surprised you guys wanted me as your fourth" An increasingly irritating voice broke through the silence.

"We didn't." Talia deadpanned, ignoring the daggers Joren was sending her with practiced ease.

_This is going to be a fun story to tell Clarke later._ Lexa mused as her merry band of four of traversed through the forest. The seconds had all been marching together till they hit the border, and then they had divided into groups. Talia and Joren were with her, along with a mousey girl named Lia, she'd only seen glimpses of before. Joren had been adamant about bringing her along, because she was good with a bow, and had a keen eye. _It has nothing to do with how cute she is?_ Talia had asked him, making him stutter, and fumble through a denial. Lexa remembered snorting, and then giving an absent minded nod of approval.

As long as Lia stayed out of the way, the mission could still proceed without a hitch. Her and her friends were more than enough to carry dead weight if need be. Although not all of them were thrilled at the prospect. Talia's tolerance for the girl was paper thin after listening to her prattle on about her brother and her numerous exploits with him in Polis. It had been amusing the first couple miles, when she explained how she had started out as a disaster when it came to wielding anything pointy, to becoming a threat thanks to her brother. Apparently, he was a warrior of some prestige, and had taught her everything she knew.

They could practically hear the hushed reverence in her tone when she spoke of him.

It made Talia subtlety edge away from her, because there was a frightening amount of innocence in the way she gushed; in the visible spark in her eye, and the way she seemed determined to resemble her age. Lia reflected all nine of her years because she was full of life, exuberance, and smiles. It was refreshing, and yet it made Lexa's stomach churn uncomfortably. She hadn't behaved like that in a long time, and Lia didn't seem to understand the effect she was having on the group as a whole, because Joren was resolutely at her side, and his enthusiasm was infectious

Lexa didn't question it when Talia's pace slowed to a crawl, and she ended up walking side by side with her. They were several steps behind their companions, so she was the only one who could see Talia's frustrated expression. "You get tired of glaring at her already?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

"All of the clans are fighting right now. I thought all the kids had been touched by the war. It's like what we're doing now doesn't even register to her."

It was true. Lia was gesturing animatedly, and speaking like they were on an afternoon adventure-instead of hiking through the woods on a mission. Lexa found it comparable to Clarke's behavior in her dreams, but it wasn't the same, because Clarke had been born in the sky, and never seen battle. Lia was Trikru, and she wanted to become a warrior-yet she was acting like a child. And Joren was only encouraging her. It was worrying to see, because they had been told over and over again, that they were warriors first, and children second.

They were meant to inherit a legacy of war and violence, so the rest of their people would never have to pick up a sword.

Lia didn't seem to understand that.

And Talia had picked up on that as well. It made them both leery, because sometimes a second was chosen that just wasn't meant to be a warrior. Lia was smart, and stealthy, but she spoke like someone who lacked conviction. And her actions thus far, weren't exactly cementing her as an asset for the mission. She wasn't paying attention to their surroundings. She wasn't aware of the forest thickening, and of the lengthening shadows as they got closer and closer to the mountain. Her chatter with Joren ensured she couldn't concentrate on the eerie silence that reigned over the tree groves, like the animals had disappeared along with their people. Joren did notice though and his steps stalled, nearly causing Talia to run into him. His hand went up to signal a halt, and everyone paused, alarmed at the abrupt stop.

Even Lia who had been talking the entire time suddenly noticed that the forest noise had died down completely.

Lexa's hand fell to the sword at her hip. "Stay on your guard."

They had traveled several miles without encountering anything hostile. It seemed that was about to change.

They were straining their senses, listening for an enemy that had yet to see. Something was coming, and Lexa found herself shifting on the balls of her feet to run as soon as she laid eyes on the threat. The fighting between clans had left them prepared for things like ambushes and plans crumbling to dust. Nothing could prepare them for the ominous fog that was coursing through the thicket, like water running over wet stones. It tore through the trees towards them, eating up anything in its path, and its foul green color only illustrated a fraction of the devastation it could wreak. It seemed to swallow everything, and the fear resonating in her chest told her it could easily consume her too.

"What is that? This is absolute skrish." Talia growled at the death cloud, even as Lexa was jerking her backwards, so they could escape.

"Shof up and Run!"

Joren and Lia were on their heels. They were four silent shadows moving through the foliage, while the fog left a scorching path behind them. Fear gave them an endless reserve of energy, and desperation forced them to seek out cover. Lexa was the fastest, and devoted all of her speed to finding a place where the fog wouldn't overtake them. She vaulted over low hanging branches, and darted nimbly from rock to rock. Her breath came in shallow trembling pants, as she tried to remember what they passed on the journey to the mountain. They couldn't hide in the trees. Rocks and boulders didn't offer enough protection. She couldn't recall seeing any caves on the way there.

"This way." Lia's voice disrupted her panic, and Lexa didn't even break her stride as she swiftly changed directions, catching a glimpse of a familiar wiry form disappearing into the bushes, closely followed by Joren. Talia caught up to her taking in huge lungfuls of air, just as Lexa made the decision to trust Lia's instincts. The bushes were thick, but just underneath their branches was enough room to crawl if you were tiny enough. Joren would have a tough time in the cramped space, but Lexa could fit in a pinch. Dropping till she was belly flat on the ground, she slid forward wincing as thorns tore at the leather straps of her armor. Dimly she could see Joren maneuvering his hulking form around so he could wiggle through the underbrush. And she waited till he was in a position to drag himself through thistled branches, till she moved again. Behind her she could hear Talia muttering curses under her breath, and it was almost reassuring, because even though the Death fog was still converging on them-For now they were all still alive and together.

_We might be able to survive this._

That was her last thought before seeing Joren tip forward with flailing limbs, because the ground ahead of him had dropped off. Instinctively, she lashed out with lightning reflexes, and grabbed his ankle."Joren!" She saw him fall, and felt herself being dragged forward till she was tumbling into the same abyss that had claimed him. Her own strength wasn't enough to keep them both steady, and she braced herself as the ground rushed toward her.

Pain exploded in her head, and then everything went to dark.

XxX

She ended up in her dreamscape in the sky, but Clarke wasn't there so what was the point?

Her circumstances were rapidly deteriorating on the ground, and she had no one to talk to about it.

_Where are you Skai girl?_

_XxX_

When Lexa finally did wake up, her head was pounding and she couldn't see anything. Complete darkness canvased her vision, and she was irritated beyond belief because she had almost died because of a green cloud. She liked clouds normally. A small groan spilled from her lips as she tried to sit up, and regretted it immediately. The relentless throbbing behind her eyes grew worse with movement, but she had to check her surroundings. She had to know if her friends were okay. The last thing she remembered they were in dire peril. "Guys." She rasped, and her voice come out a pained croak.

"Oh good you're awake. You've been out for a while." Joren's voice was a small comfort, but his words made a chill creep down her spine. How much time had they lost? Was their position secure? It only taken seconds for the green cloud to compromise their entire mission. A lot could happen in an hour.

"Only because you're a branwada." Talia's voice interrupted her train of thought.

"It was an accident." Joren sounded tired, like he had repeated himself many times.

"Your _accident_ gave Lexa a head injury." Lexa blinked at Talia's heated words, and her fingers came up to gently skim over her forehead. To her surprise, dried blood was crusted along her brow and the skin was split in a jagged gash. _That explains the headache_ , Lexa sighed, and her gaze slanted to the left where she assumed Talia to be. Her eyes were finally adjusting to the darkness, so she could see a vague outline of her friend standing, with her arms crossed in front of her. She was an imposing figure for one so small.

"What happened?" Lexa cut in to their discussion before it got out of hand. "And where's Lia?" Their talkative companion was the only reason they were still alive. They appeared to have landed in a cement tunnel of some kind because of her quick thinking.

"I'm here." Lia answered quietly from her right, and Lexa caught herself sighing in relief, because her first thought had been she was going to stumble over the young girl's corpse when she got up. Thankfully she wasn't dead, and Lexa could address her directly.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. We sealed the entrance to this place so the fog couldn't get in. We've been waiting for you to wake up."

"Yeah. Thanks to Joren you got an unexpected nap. He kicked you in the head when you both fell."

"I said I was sorry." Joren all but whined, and despite not having a clear view of Talia's face, she knew she was rolling her eyes.

"Don't tell me. Tell Lexa."

"Sorry Lexa." He didn't pout, but somewhere in the shadows, he was undoubtedly slumped over. Guilt was a heavy burden; and knowing it was an accident didn't make it easier to bear. Luckily for Joren, Lexa wasn't keen on holding grudges while they were trapped underground.

"It's alright." The open wound on her head could wait, the fog took precedence over everything. "Tell me one of you know what that was- that green cloud killed everything it touched. The trees, the plants, it probably poisoned the water too." She ground out bitterly, because the chance to finish their mission was slipping through their fingers. Informing Heda about the death cloud wouldn't let them pass this trial, and it wouldn't help them find their people. But it still had to be done.

"I have never seen anything like it." Joren murmured solemnly, and Lexa felt more than saw him shaking his head in disbelief. "It chased us for miles."

"It's like it was alive." Lia added, and her voice quivered audibly. They were all shaken and Lexa wanted to reach out to comfort to her, but she didn't how welcome that would be. Not everyone drew comfort from physical contact. So she settled for humming lightly in response, and dropping her voice to a low soothing cadence.

"Alive or dead, we escaped because of you. You found these tunnels. You made sure the fog couldn't get in after us. And because of you we have a chance salvage this." She gestured vaguely, because she didn't know if she meant the mission, or just escaping with their lives. Lia had given them an opportunity that they couldn't waste. If there was even a small chance that these tunnels led back to the surface they had to take it. From there they could plan what to do next.

"Yeah. You're horrible company, but I'm…Glad you are here." Talia offered Lia something that resembled a thank you. Lexa snorted because Xarin would be appalled at her second's manners, but all Lia did was laugh. It was the first cheery noise they'd heard since falling into the tunnels and it somehow made the air seem lighter.

"Wow Talia, laying it on a little thick aren't ya? That was almost nice." No one could miss Jorens smugness. And it made their temperamental friend scowl angrily at him. If they could see clearly, Talia would have punched him, but in the darkness of the tunnel, there was too much room for error, so all Talia did was mutter a cross _Shof op Joren_ under her breath.

Joren cackled in delight, and Lexa shook her head lightly at them both.

Her friends could be never ending entertainment if she let them, but they had things to do.

Her hands crept forward, feeling out her surroundings. The walls around her were made of smooth stone and cracked in some places, like some of the buildings in Polis. She used the uneven holds to haul herself to her feet, and began herding her people forward.

"Let's get moving. There has to be another opening like the one we fell through in these tunnels."

No one protested.

In fact, at her prompting, they all fell in line behind her.

Lexa almost felt like a leader in that moment, but the weight of the role counterbalanced whatever excitement she might have. It was terrifying to think she could very well be walking away from the only exit in the tunnels. She could be ensuring an incredibly painful demise for her friends, because if they did escape the fog might still be waiting for them on the surface.

No matter where they turned, death waited for them.

But it couldn't have them yet.

_I won't be another corpse that needs to be recovered. None of us are dying here._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter I will finish up the mission, and Clarke will be back.
> 
> We'll be hitting the first time skip soon as well, so that's a thing.
> 
> Let me know what you think xD


	4. Chapter 4: She Won't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a long time coming, Enjoy~

**This has been a long time coming, Enjoy~**

* * *

 

Lexa breathed, distilling her anxiety into the air as she saw the first shafts of sunlight peeking through tunnels. They had stopped to break for camp during the night, before continuing their trek underground. It had taken longer than she thought it would to find a route that didn't lead to a dead end. She didn't have a word for the vast underground network that had saved them. It was cold and damp, and it felt like something that had been conceived before her time. But it had served as a good escape. The darkness hid their footsteps, and the earth had been hollowed out in every direction making it impossible to track them. It also made it harder for them to discern the way out, but the light was an indication they were close to the surface.

"That kinda looks like the hole we fell through." Talia sounded uncertain, and Lexa couldn't blame her as she spotted a small circular opening above them. Freedom did not mean safety. The green cloud still weighed heavily on their minds. It was unnatural, and there was no explanation for it, except perhaps the spirits were angry. Perhaps this is how they actively voiced their displeasure? Lexa had no idea. But she didn't want to encounter another anomaly that shouldn't exist above ground.

"There must be a lot of entrances to these tunnels…I don't see any trees though. We won't have any cover when we climb up." Joren pointed out the flaw in their most promising plan.

All of them grew up in the same forest; even with a narrow line of sight they could tell when the sun was trickling through the trees.

The gold canvassing the land over head was bright, and unfiltered. There was no cover in sight.

They had come too far too stop now though.

After a moment of hesitation, Lexa placed a hand on Joren's shoulder. "Give me a boost." It wasn't a suggestion, and he didn't argue. He simply widened his stance so he could support her weight, and cupped his hands together so he could give her a leg up. She put one foot in his open palm, and he grunted as he hoisted her up so she was level with the ceiling of the tunnel.

"Be careful." Lia whispered as she heaved herself top side. She was momentarily blinded by the sun as she hauled herself out of the darkness. Breathing came easier when she was on solid ground. Her vision was swimming, but Lexa had four other perfectly good senses that were on high alert. Nothing hostile seemed to be around her. The only sound that shattered the quiet was her heart beating in her ears, and her boots digging into the dirt as she scrambled to her feet. She drew her weapon in one fluid motion, scanning her surroundings. Her eyes had finally adjusted to the point where she could see little things, a valley. The forest just beyond it. She stood above it all, overlooking a steep slope. From that precipice she was greeted by an ocean of purple flowers. They framed the valley like a wreath, and on another day the sight would be breathtaking. But instead the field, the flowers, and the ominous silence, simply made a cold ball of dread form in the pit of her stomach.

"Hey Lexa. What do you see? Is it safe?"

She bit the inside of her cheek, to avoid answering Talia, and turned on her heel to visually inspect what lay behind her. What she saw made her freeze. And real fear stole its way into her lungs. Robbing her of air.

"Lexa. Why aren't you answering? What do you see?" Joren's urgent whisper startled her out of her reverie.

"Guys. The Mountain. The path we followed led us right to its base."

There was a small divide of trees that separated them from the mountain, but it wouldn't take much effort to cross that barrier. They could see the face of the enemy in minutes, maybe less if they were discovered. Carefully she sheathed her blade, and lowered herself to the ground, so she was hovering over the entrance to the tunnels. "We can't stay here. We have to go. Now." An undercurrent of steel entered her tone as she mimicked Anya, and her friends actually listened to her. Joren got into position to give Talia a leg up, and second later Lexa was grabbing her out stretched hand to haul her to the surface. Her headstrong friend lurched a little, and shielded her eyes as she took up residence on Lexa's right.

"Lia's next." Joren informed them needlessly. It was more of a process to get the younger girl out of the tunnels. She wasn't as short as Talia, but she lacked the other girl's raw strength, so Lexa staggered at bodily carrying her upwards. She seemed to have newborn calf limbs as soon as she was submerged in the light, and Lexa steadied her with a hand.

"Easy." She murmured, guiding Lia to the allotted space between her and Talia.

Joren was the only one who still had to climb up. While her friends adjusted to being above ground she motioned him forward. He jumped, and his height made it easy to catch her hand in midair. Lexa grunted a little as his weight dragged her forward, but she held her ground, and put a considerable amount of effort into yanking him upward. As soon as he was level with the tunnel ceiling he was able to haul himself up with the rest of them. He ended up on Lexa's left side, panting heavily. Dirt smudged his face. And sweat beaded down his forehead from having his team's survival rest on his shoulders. Quite literally.

"That was not fun." He wheezed, and Lexa's lips curved upwards in a tired smirk.

"We could go back into the tunnels."

"That wasn't fun either." He grumbled, and Talia huffed disparagingly next to him. They had a joint moment of silence, where everyone took a couple of deep breaths to catch their bearings. It had been no easy task arriving to this point. A week's travel from Polis had brought them dangerously close to their objective, but now after a near death experience and a night spent in complete darkness they were staring it in the face.

"What do we do now?" Lia wondered, an undercurrent of fear in her tone as she gazed at the mountain where so many of their people had disappeared.

"We need to-" She never got to finish her sentence. A sound that she could only describe as thunder booming made her ears ring. Wood splintered behind her, and the way the bark shredded at the slightest contact, told her that this new threat could tear through flesh and bone quite easily. The warriors to be fell flat on the ground to avoid being hit. Lexa being the last to hit the ground because she was busy sorting through their options. Someone had a weapon, and was aiming at them. They were vulnerable out in the open, so Lexa gestured towards the thicket at the bottom of the valley. "Flank them. Head towards the trees and get them from behind. I'll take the front." She hissed at her friends before climbing to her feet, and running in the direction she thought their attackers were. Their orders not to engage the enemy meant precious little to her right now. The highest chance of survival for everyone was to take out the one with the weapon. Going underground again was not an option, because the room to maneuver in the tunnels was nonexistent. They'd be cornered instantly.

Her gaze followed the path of the tiny projectiles spraying the air in tandem with each shot that split the silence. She was hunting. Poised to spring, as she zig zagged towards her destination. Out of her peripherals she saw Lia following her lead, steadily gaining enough speed, so she was harder to hit. Talia and Joren had probably done as instructed and used the trees at the bottom of the valley to circuit around and flank their quarry.

Lexa drew her weapon, wincing as another shot sailed dangerously close to her head.

The minute she stepped past the treeline she was leaning so she was almost parallel to the ground, using her momentum to slide smoothly under her opponents guard. In the same instant, she brought her weapon down in a low dangerous arc at the enemy's legs. Her blade cut deep, past the thin white armor her attacker wore. The man screamed as pain crippled him to the ground. Lexa's arm snaked around his neck before he could succumb completely to her blade, holding him captive as a shield while two other combatants in white suits swarmed closer to her.

Lia cleared the treeline in same breath, freckled face lined with a resolute snarl. Dark hair flying everywhere as she notched an arrow in her bow. Joren had not exaggerated her skill, because while the other two men in white barely noticed in her time, her first arrow had already found its mark. Lia's target gurgled blood as red trickled under his mask. An arrow protruded from his chest, and while he tried to blindly find the shaft to pull it out, another arrow streamlined towards him with razor sharp acuity. He collapsed a second later, when Lia's aim proved true. The arrow shattered his mask, and found a home in his skull.

That left one. And desperation made him bold. Shots went off, and Lexa let the man in front of her take the brunt of the attack. Her human shield rocked back with each blast of the weapon. The noise was jarring. The man in her arms wasn't struggling anymore. Lexa was scared the shots would never stop.

But suddenly they did.

Everything went silent.

Slowly, Lexa peered around her captive, her breath coming in low tremulous pants.

Joren and Talia had arrived.

Somehow they had disabled the last enemy in white. He was on the ground. Joren's sword was bloody. Talia wore a grim expression as the man who had nearly killed them held his hands up in surrender. Slowly Lexa released her death grip on the still warm corpse in her grasp. She gently laid him on the ground, and wiped her blade down with trembling hands. The deafening sound of a weapon going off still rang in her ears. It still resonated in her bones. Was it over? Cold green eyes canvassed the area, searching for another fight, and she found something far more disheartening instead. "Lia." Her voice came out as a croak. The girl was leaning against a tree, nursing her side heavily.

Lexa's feet carried her over to her.

"Lia." She repeated the other second's name dumbly. Because no words were forthcoming. The girl was pale, and clammy. Her eyes were rife with pain, and it made Lexa wonder how bad the damage was. She knelt down so she could inspect the wound. "I don't know how to fix this." The young warrior murmured, eyeing the open hole in her friend's torso with obvious discomfort. "We need to get her to a healer." She looked back at her friends anxiously. Joren jogged over to them, the hard tick in his jaw relaxing as he knelt down next to the girl he'd been getting closer with over the last few days.

"It's not that bad." Lia murmured breathlessly, willing to trivialize her pain if it meant alleviating the tension in the air.

Joren knelt down next to Lia. His bright hazel eyes were a bit glassy as he saw the state she was in. "It really is." He turned to Lexa, voice lowering to a quaking whisper. "We can carry her but we're days away from Polis."

Lexa bit her lip. There was blood on her hands. The copper stench was in her lungs. Lives had been taken so her friends could survive, and one of them was probably dying. She had no idea what to do. She had been trained to fight, and to accept death, but no amount of training could prepare her for this. _I wish Anya was here._

Her mentor would know what to do.

"Guys what do we do with him?" Talia had her sword drawn so the blade was hovering over the last man in white. His weapon lay several feet away. Useless. And without it, he seemed to realize he was at the mercy of children. Talia was tightly wound and ready to strike if he even blinked the wrong way. His eyes were bulging when cold metal came to rest in the hollow of his throat. Joren refused to leave Lia's side, but Lexa had sheathed her sword. Standing at her full height, she swallowed her fear, and held her chin high as she walked over to the enemy. He looked horrified that he had been disarmed. That his men had been killed. And that a child was now approaching him with thinly veiled anger guiding every step.

"Who are you?" Lexa demanded, and gestured to his unmoving comrades. "Where did you and your people come from?"

He didn't want to answer.

But Talia's blade inched closer to him. His cloth like armor offered no resistance to the sharp edge of her blade. And he was under no illusions of who held the power in this situation. But he wanted to see if he could turn the tides still. "I can't believe your people send kids into battle. You don't want to do this." His English was rough, but recognizable. His brow furrowed beneath his mask, as he looked up at Lexa. "You don't wanna start something you can't finish."

Talia snorted, and it was a bitter sound. "Is that a threat?"

"I don't threaten kids. But I'm telling you, they won't be happy you killed my men. They will come after you." He gestured behind him towards the mountain. Heavy implications colored his words. There were others like him. More armed men. More scary weapons. More of the unknown residing in those hollowed out walls.

Lexa and Talia exchanged concerned looks, because perhaps that is where their people were too. There was a high chance that the missing Trikru, and these hostile invaders were connected.

"Like they came after the people in the villages nearby?"" Lexa chose each word carefully, so she could measure this man's reaction. Her gut instinct was that he was involved. When he mentioned her people, he did so with contempt, like he felt they were beneath him. He knew about the Trikru. He had too.

Lexa was almost positive that there was finally a name for their unknown enemy: Manuon. _Mountain men._

He paled beneath his mask, startled at how easily she parsed apart the truth, or perhaps mindful of the fact that he had just exposed his role in a much bigger plot. "You have no idea what you're getting into. If you don't leave now you're gonna end up just like the rest of your people." He stated, eyes flicking from Lexa's resolute expression to the mountain behind him. She couldn't see anything besides the rocky base, and its ever looming shadow stretching over head. But she had no doubt reinforcements were on the way. All the noise had to have attracted attention. But they needed to know at least one more thing.

"What are they doing with our people?" Talia snarled, and her blade burrowed deeper into his neck-promising pain if he didn't give them the answers they wanted. His lips pursed into a thin line. He had to choose between loyalty and self-preservation-and when his next words were defiant, they all had an inkling of what his choice was.

"You'll never know."

His tone was taunting, And what made things infinitely worse, is that he got the last word in before taking matters into his own hands. Once he leaned in so Talia's sword was cutting past the white sheet he wore, and into the vulnerable flesh of his neck-there was no going back. The blade ended up coated in his blood, and he collapsed on the ground, joining his comrades in death rather than betraying them in life.

In his mind, the children in front of him were going to kill him anyways. He might as well take the information they wanted to his grave.

Talia reached out, a cry of _no_ on her lips, because she knew in her bones that he was their last chance for answers. They would never get an opportunity like this again, and the blood decorating her blade was not worth their people's lives. But it was too late to do anything because he was dead. She muttered a mangled curse that was twisted between Trigedasleng, and English. "All he had to do was tell us." She motioned at the corpse in front of her, feeling overwhelmed. Her sword felt heavy. Tainted by the _Manuon._ "He just…" She gestured futilely, fumbling to describe feeling of inadequacy eating away at her stomach.

Then Lexa was there, cool green eyes grounding her amidst a storm of turmoil. "This wasn't your fault. This was going to happen no matter what." She meant the man dying. Talia knew that was inevitable. But it felt like she could have done more. She could have disabled him, so he could explain what happened to their Trikru brothers and sisters. His unexpected demise felt like an abrupt ending to a story half finished.

"I could have tried." Talia insisted, voice devoid of her usual pride and bluster. Out in a place where so much blood had been shed, it seemed unnecessary to affect an air of confidence. Talia was scared. And she craved a simple solution where there was none. She ground her teeth together, wondering how Xarin would react to all this and ending up falling short. Xarin would have tied him down, and milked all the answers she wanted from him. Her mentor wouldn't have lost a valuable resource so easily. Shaking her head in disgust, she sheathed her sword with a resounding click, and stomped her way over to Joren and Lia. Carefully she positioned herself on the smaller girl's uninjured side. "I'll help you carry her." She muttered to Joren, giving him an absentminded nod.

One arm went under the injured girl, and Lia shuddered as they gently pulled her up. Talia was careful not to jostle her; careful not to cause her anymore pain than necessary. Lia saw her being considerate, and murmured a breathless _thank you_ into her ear as they lifted her so she was walking between Joren and Talia.

"Let's go." Lexa took the lead, and Talia followed, because there was no one else she trusted to get them home.

* * *

They traveled for three days, only stopping to re-wrap Lia's injury with fresh bandages. Lexa's head wound had scabbed over, so they only had to worry about the strain their journey was putting on Lia. Polis was a week away on foot. And at the pace they were going to accommodate their friend's wound, it would take even longer to get there. Everyone was tired; relieved to have the mountain at their back, but exhausted from pushing forward with no rest. No one complained though. Because with every sequential step, Lia's condition seemed to worsen.

"She can't keep going like this." Joren steps slowed till he came to a complete halt.

They were all dirty, and sleep dragged at their steps, but Lia was barely conscious.

Her eyes were dull, and all of her weight was leaning on Joren and Lexa. They had all taken turns carrying her together, and Talia was trailing behind them for a break. They were in the middle of the forest they called home, and Polis was still days away. "Let's stop." Lexa murmured, and she nodded towards a small ravine located off the trail "We can camp there. Start a fire, and maybe get some sleep."

Joren hesitated, but after a moment he nodded. "We can change her bandages too." He sent Lexa a tight smile, as they switched directions, carefully guiding Lia off the worn dirt path. They wanted to rest some place where the dense tree cover, and foliage would offer them protection. And the little dip off the path would have to do. Plenty of Trikru had done the same before. Resting inconspicuously in the forest trenches where they were safe from its creatures and other weary travelers. Joren and Lexa aspired to do the same, and lowered Lia to the ground. Talia caught up to them, skidding down the slope with the ease and grace of a cat till she was shoulder to shoulder with Joren.

"Are we stopping?"

Joren shook his head. "We're camping here. We need to change Lia's bandages."

_And rest…_

Lexa dared to hope for a moment of reprieve. To rest her aching limbs, and maybe see Clarke when she closed her eyelids. The blonde had been absent from her dreams for quite some time and the empty space that Clarke used to occupy was becoming a sore spot for her. Because her friend should be there. And Lexa could use her help now. Lia needed a healer, and Clarke was ironically the closest one within reach, despite the leagues of distance between them. "I'll check her wound." Lexa offered and glanced at her friends, who were having some sort of silent debate between them.

"I'll go collect firewood." Joren decided, and Talia yawned tiredly before meandering towards the woods.

"I'll catch dinner."

"And I-" Lia tried to mumble something helpful and Lexa used one hand to keep the wounded girl firmly rooted to the ground while her other friends dispersed to tend to their duties.

"You'll stay here and rest-where I can see you." Nothing tempered the bite in her words. She sounded tired, and on the verge of passing out herself. Lexa had been pushing herself for some time, in spite of her throbbing head and protesting legs. Anya's voice, and the possibility of pursuers at her heels spurred her forward, but she was dead on her feet like the rest of her friends. Lia didn't protest as she was guided back to the ground, and Lexa stationed herself at her side. "Let me see." She murmured in a softer tone. Trying to mimic she'd seen Shala do in Polis. She hoped she didn't look as nervous as she felt. She was no _fisa._

"Have you done this before?" Lia's voice trembled as she lifted the edge of her shirt.

"Would it help if I lied?"

"….I'm going to die." Lia lamented weakly, her eyes fluttering shut, as pain encroached its way past her defenses. It was meant as a joke; but she didn't see Lexa's eyes fill with fear. She didn't hear Lexa's heart sinking to her stomach because if she died than there would be only three left on a mission that had started with four. She didn't know Lia as well as she knew Joren or Talia. But she didn't want to lose her. "Tell my brother that I-"

Lexa interrupted rudely. "Tell him yourself. We will all die some day—but you're not allowed too tonight"

Lia shuddered, eyes going glassy as she tried to stay awake "Hurts though."

 _"Ste Yuj. "_ Lexa encouraged her gently as she unwrapped the dirty bandages to reveal the source of Lia's discomfort. The wound was an angry red. The skin around it inflamed, and what wasn't red from infection was red from blood. How was it possible such a little thing could do so much damage? There was so much blood. Lexa bit her lip, and reached out to gently test how bad the pain was. As her fingers ghosted across frayed skin, Lia flinched violently, exacerbated by the touch, and by her growing fever. She was hotter than she should be; and it was just one more thing Lexa didn't know what to do about. "I'm going to help." Lexa murmured feebly, wishing she felt as assured as she sounded.

"-Mind me of him" Lia mumbled, and Lexa had to replay the words in her head to make sense of them. She didn't ask who Lia was talking about, instead she simply took a cloth from her satchel to stem the blood flowing from the wond. She knew she had to apply pressure, but that was the extent of her medical knowledge. It was all blind floundering in the dark for the eight year old, because her training hadn't covered this. And her barely conscious patient clearly had no idea how out of her depth Lexa was, because she sent her an adoring look. "You're like my brother. Gustus."

That had to be high praise.

It was hard to take it as such while Lexa was neck deep in skirsh though.

"You'll see him again Lia."

There was no reply; because Lia had lost consciousness.

But a quiet voice in the back of her head told her not to make promises she couldn't keep.

* * *

An hour later Joren had made a fire, Talia had returned and began to skin some rabbits, and Lexa had been relieved of her post so she could rest. It didn't take long for her welcome sleep. The last few hours had been trying. Meeting the mountain men, killing for the first time, and nearly losing Lia had taken its toll. This wasn't like when she had been on her hunting trial, when cold had crept its way into her limbs, and her body had slowly ceased to function-this was quick. Exhaustion had dug its way past her skin, and trickled into her veins. All of her remaining energy dissipated like a fog; and what was left was a mire of regret for not doing more, and the need to sleep for a century to regain the ability to see clearly.

When she opened her eyes again she was in her dreamscape.

But it was different. Gone were the incandescent blues, and the vivid skyline.

She was on the ground. In the trees. A storm broiling overhead.

"This is new."

Clarke.

Lexa turned on her heel, wide eyes taking in the girl she'd been yearning to see.

"Is this you or me doing this?" Clarke asked, giving their surroundings a cursory look before turning to grin at her. "Is this what the ground looks like? I've never seen—" The blonde paused, enthusiasm waning when she saw the look on Lexa's face. "What's wrong?" It could have been the morose setting. Or the weight of responsibility on her shoulders that made Lexa give up on all pretenses. She'd been trying to stay strong for Joren, and Talia. And herself. But she was scared; and here in her dreams it was okay to admit, that right? Would Clarke think any less of her? "Lexa, what's wrong?" Peerless blue eyes enraptured her and suddenly her blonde friend was closer. Not quite touching her; but clearly invading her space as if increasing their proximity would help somehow. In a way it did, because Lexa found herself leaning into Clarke, trying to share some of the burden.

"I killed someone today."

"I-What?"

A humorless grin quirked her features. "The next part of our trial was to scout out the enemy that's been taking our people. We ran into them—and I killed one, and I smell like blood, and sweat and dirt. And what I did won't matter if Lia dies." Lexa felt sick. Well and truly sick, because the anxiety that had worn her down while she was awake didn't abate here. She felt it more acutely and only Clarke's steadying hand on her back kept her from being crushed beneath it.

"This wasn't the same as killing the bear." Clarke reasoned, because they had been able to joke about that, but this was different. This wasn't a game and there were higher stakes.

"He said the Mountain would come for us." Lexa murmured solemnly, her sword hand twitching as she remembered the threat.

Clarke's scowled, but her expression was more cute than menacing.

Lexa felt an odd urge to smile despite her weariness.

"He would have gotten floated for threatening a gopher on the Ark."

Lexa blinked, confusion strewn across her features till she realized what Clarke was trying to say. " _Goufa._ Clarke—Not a-" She died. She couldn't help it. Laughter escaped her, surprising them both, and Clarke looked simultaneously concerned and happy that some of the tension simmering between them had disappeared.

"Isn't that what I said?'

That made Lexa lose it completely. "No-No, Clarke _beja_ , a _goufa_ is a child in Trigedasleng, You said gopher, which is a hairy rodent that likes to dig. You said your clan gets floated over gophers." She tried to explain between hoots of laughter. Clarke opened her mouth to defend herself and then closed it abruptly. Clarke could only pronounce a few words in Lexa's language-It seemed _goufa_ wasn't one of them. Huffing quietly the blonde allowed Lexa a few minutes to compose herself again. It would be great if they could just marinate in this moment, and go back to asking each other simple questions like last time. Lexa wanted too. Desperately.

There was so much she wanted to know about Clarke, and the sky she came from.

But there were other more pressing things she needed to ask.

"Lexa" Clarke interrupted her thoughts, shaking her to get her attention. "Are you hurt out there?" The blonde gestured vaguely indicating the world outside of the dreamscape.

"No I'm fine but Lia-she's not well." Lexa murmured. If she had been anyone else she'd feel small right now. But she was Lexa kom Trikru, and all she felt was a distant worry. And a pressing need to act. "Clarke can you help? You said your mother was a healer."

Blue eyes clouded with worry studied her, and Clarke seemed to war with herself.

"I don't want to mess up. I'm not—My mom's the doctor not me."

"Clarke, _beja."_

Clarke seemed to understand Lexa was pleading, and there was very little she could do to refuse. "Tell me what's wrong with her." Lexa heaved a sigh of relief when the Skai girl answered her request with compassion.

"She was hit here." Lexa pointed to a spot above her ribs. "With something. I don't know what it's called in _Gonasleng._ It was loud like thunder. It tore a hole into her."

"A gun?" Clarke guessed, eyes widening at Lexa's hesitant nod. "They SHOT her?" Her tone was more than a little incredulous and in any other circumstance it might be funny. But all Lexa could do now was nod, guessing that a "gun" was the name of the weapon that had nearly killed Lia. She was surprised Clarke knew the term, perhaps things were not as idyllic as they seemed in Clarke's home if they had guns in the sky.

"Lexa that's bad."

"I know." Lia's critical state flashed across Lexa's mind in that moment and it was hard not to wince. "She might die Clarke."

Clarke froze. Her breath hitching; and Lexa thought it was because she was scared. How many times had death really touched her in space? How many people had Clarke Griffin buried? Fingers entwined with hers, and there was fear present in those blue eyes, but there was also determination as Clarke tugged her to her feet. "She won't." There was a tentative note in her voice, because keeping Lia alive wasn't a certainty. But Clarke was willing try. "Can you show her to me?"

Discerning the meaning of Clarke's words took a moment. Could she conjure up an image of Lia? The forests around her were comforting. Familiar. If this was Lexa's dreamscape and the surroundings were a manifestation of her thoughts could she control them? It didn't seem likely, but then neither did this entire conversation. Ever since she met Clarke her life had been a series of impossibilities becoming possible. It wouldn't hurt to see if this implausibility was within her grasp too. Closing her eyes to concentrate, Lexa imagined the world as it was when she fell asleep. The pines around her. The smell of the fire blanketing the clearing she was sharing with her friends. Lia curled up against the roots of the tree, fighting a fever, and a quickly growing infection.

And when she opened her eyes again Clarke was beholding the same scene; and trying to make sense of Lexa's reality. Was it a good thing to have someone privy to her mind like this? It should be alarming that Clarke was seeing the ground through her eyes? That the blonde could kneel beside Lia and be subject to the same worry Lexa felt upon catching sight of all the blood? If Clarke was unsettled she didn't show it as her fingers ghosted over the wraith of an injured Lia. She was tangible to the touch like all things in the dreamscape although Lia wasn't alive in the same way Clarke and Lexa were. She was unnaturally still; frozen as if time had stopped for her. Not even the rise and fall of her chest was discernible despite Lexa knowing it was happening in the outside world.

"She's—still breathing out there right?" Clarke echoed her thoughts, and it made a part of Lexa grimace, but she hummed a positive response. "Okay, okay let's see." Clarke wasn't a warrior but her hands moved with certainty like Shala's. They pressed, and prodded, and eventually pried open the skin so Clarke could see what she was dealing with. "Um." Clarke blinked rapidly in confusion, and Lexa had to bring herself from shifting nervously from foot to foot.

"What?"

"I don't see the bullet."

 _"What?"_ Lexa hissed, barely concealed irritation flickering across her face before disappearing.

"I don't see the-"

"I heard you. What does that mean? Why can't you? It's got to be there."

If Clarke heard the bite in her words, she didn't react outwardly. Her expression was fluctuating between bewilderment, and concern even as her hands got bloody. It was mind numbing to watch because despite not knowing if Clarke was real, Lexa was pouring all of her hopes into her right now _._ Clinging to promises that offered warmth in the cold reality she would face soon _: She won't die._ Clarke's words. A tender lie to save her heartache maybe. Lexa had been trained to believe otherwise. To expect the worst. But for a moment had she allowed herself to hope. _I'm a branwada._ Before she knew it she was up and pacing. Anxiety making her prowl back and forth like a caged predator. In a way she was. She'd never felt so incredibly helpless.

"Lexa." When had Clarke moved? She was suddenly beside her. Blue eyes boring into her, stilling her restless feet and heart for a breath; the same hands that had been gently probing Lia's injury grabbed the leather strap of her armor and pulled her towards the motionless girl. "You said she was shot here, but have you actually seen the bullet?"

The question was simple enough but it gave her pause.

She'd seen the blood.

The pain the bullet caused but had she actually seen it? "I haven't." She whispered quietly, feeling guilty even though Clarke's tone was far from accusatory. Her gaze flicked from her blonde friend to Lia's prone form and it took her a moment to read between the lines. But then her mouth formed a small "o" As she followed Clarke's line of thinking. "Wait—if this space is mine" She gestured to the dreamscape. The hulking trees, and ominous storm clouds above were familiar to her. Even the wraith of Lia was an estimation of the real thing drawn from her memory. "Then this place can only show what I know. If I don't know where the bullet is-"

"Then I won't either." Clarke finished the thought eagerly, a trace of a smile on her lips that Lexa returned. They had figured it out together.

"But then how will we help her?"

"Easy peasie my friend."

"Um-What." Lexa squinted at the strange saying, because in what way was this going to be easy? And what did peasie mean?

"It'll be as easy as learning to ride a horse." Clarke cheerfully made an analogy that Lexa could relate too although the Trikru warrior couldn't help but snort. What did someone from the Skai know of horses?

"Learning to ride a horse is hard. There's chaffing Clarke."

"Then it will be as easy as falling off a horse, and breaking both legs." Anya had assured her that was easy to do, and the dry tone Clarke used sounded like her. Slowly Lexa relaxed, and some of the tension wiring her form dissipated.

"Show me then." She demanded, and she felt her heart constrict for a different reason when Clarke beamed at her.

It took an indeterminable amount of time.

Clarke methodically showed her how to widen the wound so she would dig around for the bullet. And they had a brief argument over what tools were supposed to help her.

_"Why can't I use my fingers to grab the bullet?"_

_"You might poke something you're not supposed too."_

_"Clarke I am highly trained."_

_"In poking things you're not supposed too with weapons."_

_Her scowl meant very little to the Skai girl cuz she had no problem scowling back. "Lexa."_

_"Clarke."_

_"Just make the forceps from one of the animal bones down there. Sterilize it. And Dig the bullet out with that. You don't have anything to make stitches with so do…the thing you said."_

_"Burn it shut." She stated with a carefully neutral expression to hide how happy she was to do one thing she had some experience with. Everything else Clarke was saying sounded strange, and prompted incredulous looks from her. This one thing however fell inside her comfort zone, despite it being leagues way from Clarkes._

_"Yes that." Clarke blinked owlishly before a shudder escaped her. "Gross"_

_Once again Lexa's laughter startled them both._

* * *

When she did wake up, it was because Talia had nudged her awake. Clarke had made her practice widening the wound, and digging out the bullet several times in the dream world. As she became more lucid, her fingers were twitching at the memory, and she had press them to her skull to avoid suspicion. Her hand gesture could easily be misconstrued as feeling the scab along her brow. If Talia noticed her discomfort she didn't say anything. Not that Lexa expected her too. Her friend wasn't exactly known for her wordy entreaties

"How long was I out?" Lexa croaked, voice a tired rasp. It felt like she'd been sleeping hours, although she didn't feel rested. Talia didn't seem to be fairing much better. Bruises under her eyes, sharp features contorted so the scars on her face seemed more severe.

"An hour. Joren fell asleep too." Talia replied absentmindedly, leaning back against the tree she was resting under.

Lexa nodded. Noting the fire he'd made was still burning strong. The flickering red and oranges illuminated the space across from them where Joren was resting at Lia's side. Curled up in a giant exhausted ball, he reminded Lexa of her early days with Anya. She'd pushed herself so hard all she could do was let her body go limp with exhaustion near Anya's feet. Most days she woke up with dirt in her mouth, and a splitting headache from where Anya's staff had left its mark. But this wasn't the same thing as a _Seken_ trying to prove themselves. Joren was worried, and had stationed himself resolutely at Lia's side cuz he wasn't sure she'd wake up.

He'd fallen asleep waiting for her too.

"He really likes her." Lexa realized, a somber glint in her eye as she observed the scene.

"He's stupid."

"You like her too." Lexa said firmly, and Talia glared at her for daring to state something she hadn't admitted herself yet. Lexa held her glare, stubbornly waiting for her friend to contradict her, and in the end all Talia did was offer her a long suffering sigh.

"I'm also stupid." There was a pause, and then in an uncertain voice Talia murmured. "What if she dies? I told her we didn't want her on the mission, but she's the only reason we found the tunnels."

Standing abruptly, Lexa made a face. "She won't die. And when we get back to Polis you can thank her, and explain why you're exhausting." She told her mockingly, drawing pleasure from the offended look lining Talia's features.

"I am NOT."

"Xarin says you're a pain."

"Xarin can choke on a-"

 _"Talia."_ Lexa's tone was amused, because nothing kind would have concluded that sentence, and Talia looked completely unrepentant. Shrugging at being interrupted, her friend's gaze skirted over to their other two companions, softening imperceptibly when she saw they were both still asleep. The abrupt change in atmosphere, from light-hearted to serious spurred Lexa into action.

"I have a plan." She told Talia, watching the way she sat up straighter, listening intently despite her eyes never leaving Joren and Lia. "Here's what we'll do."

Outlying the plan took minutes.

Executing it took infinitely longer.

Talia had to skin the rabbit she'd hunted. And find something that resembled the tool Clarke spoke about. One of the smaller bones, with two points that could flex and bend—and deftly extract a bullet without hurting anything else. Meanwhile Lexa washed off her knife as Clarke had instructed. _You have to keep bacteria out of the wound._ Not that Lexa knew what bacteria was or how it would effect the injury at all. They worked silently, only pausing to trade tools so Lexa could wash off the bones they'd acquired. Once that was done, her body worked mechanically; replicating what she remembered from the dreamscape with steady hands.

Talia observed quietly at her side. Hand on a wide eyed Joren who'd woken up at Lia's hiss of pain once Lexa started using her knife.

 _First make an incision, cut into the bullet hole._  
_  
Then rotate the knife so the opening is bigger and you have room to angle the forceps._

_Pray to whoever you have too that its not lodged into an organ._

_Once you see it, grasp it with the bones, dig it out and seal the wound._

Clarke's instructions.

She followed them religiously. Her heart was permanently lodged in her throat, because actually feeling Lia's ribcage and her blood pulsing beneath her wasn't the same as working on Lia's barely tangible form in her dreams. Lexa was terrified she'd knick something. Terrified her hands would suddenly be inept or clumsy, or she'd forget what she'd been told to do. She couldn't tell what place anything was supposed to be in. Clarke could only give her so much direction, so the moment the forceps grazed something hard. That was neither organ nor bone, she let loose a shaky sigh of relief. She withdrew the bullet with wide eyes, wondering how something so small could do so much damage, and beside her Joren and Talia were staring on in amazement.

"How did you do that?" Joren's voice was strained, confusion, and concern making him cautious because they'd never encountered an injury like this but Lexa knew exactly how to handle it.

Thoughtlessly Lexa smiled. "It's easy peasie."

The incredulous looks her friends shared almost made her cry in laughter.

"Joren I think that head injury broke her." Talia's words. Dry but not unkind.

Lexa shoved her in response. "Someone burn the wound shut." She demanded, leaving that up to one of them because she'd done all the hard work. Lia was unconscious again so it should be a painless process for her.

They didn't ask her again how she knew how to save Lia.

But part of her wanted them too.

Now that things were okay again, she wanted to tell someone about Clarke. The girl from the sky.

When they finally arrived back in Polis a week later, she did.

Lia was alive and well because Clarke was real.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay sooooo Life has been kicking my ass, and I wasn't sure I was going to finish this because the show effectively killed my muse for a long ass time but I think it's back.
> 
> I don't know when exactly updates are going to happen, but they will be coming. Hopefully with less of a wait in the future.
> 
> Next chapter will be from Clarke's perspective and it will be our first time skip.
> 
> I don't think I need to add any translation notes, because most of the words are ones everyone knows from the show or through other fics.
> 
> Let me know how you guys feel about this chapter


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